Better than Hot Pockets Experiment

So, I have a confession to make. I am not proud of this, but I finally had one of my biggest childhood food desires EVER for the first time 2 days ago.

I've been counting calories for a couple of weeks now, and I guess my body just had ENOUGH, took over my wallet, and bought a frozen 1/2 pound meatwad of affliction. Aka a Hot Pocket.

When I took the paper towel-wrapped pastry out of the lab microwave and saw the fluorescent orange cheese residue that had exploded out of the pocket, I knew in the back of my mind that I was in for some gastronomical distress. It was like napalm, and didn't taste much better. Soggy pastry, liquid orange that I doubt would fit into any category of cheese, and peach colored... ham. Well, needless to say I ate the whole thing. After this Hot Pocket debacle, went to track practice and fought my way around the dirt track over and over, feeling the lump of sadness that was the "pastry" bouncing around my stomach.

I vowed to avenge the filled pastry. I KNEW I could make something 3000x better. And I did.

The best pizza crust/bread stick recipe I've ever had
Makes dough for 1 pizza, and it made 8 hot pockets

• 1 packet active dry yeast
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1 Tbsp salt
• 1 Tbsp thyme
• 1 head garlic
• 3 cups flour
• 1 1/4 cup warm water 

Mix yeast, warm water, salt, and olive oil in a large bowl. Add in garlic and thyme. Stir in flour, and allow to rise for 1.5-2 hours. If you want pizza dough, stretch it. If you want bread sticks, do that, but if you want HOT POCKETS, cut into 8 pieces and set aside.

Hot Pockets!

• Horseradish cheddar
• Sliced cooked deli ham
• Italian sausage, chopped and cooked
• Mushrooms, white, chopped and cooked with sausage
• Mexican shredded cheese blend
• Barbeque sauce
• Premade pizza dough (see above) 

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Stretch dough into 8x4 inch rectangles. It will end up quite thin. Spoon filling into center in a line. Fold dough over the fillings and pinch to close. Pat a bit with your hands to get the shape more normal. Top with a bit of shredded cheese, and bake about 15 minutes. 

Nom nom. 

  

Photos by Ben : heliotrope.ucsd.edu